Christmas Jokes

So, I found a few Christmas jokes that I thought were either cute or funny; BEWARE some/all of them are just a bit LAME...



Q: What did one Snowman say to the other Snowman?
A: Do you smell carrot?

Q: What never eats at Christmas time?
A: The turkey, it's usually STUFFED!!!

Q: What do you get when you cross an archer and a gift-wrapper?
A: Ribbon Hood

Q: What do you get when you put a snowman on roller blades?
A: A Snow mobile!

Q: How does a Yeti get down the hill?
A: by-icicle

Q: What is an ig?
A: A house of an Eskimo without a loo

Q: What did the cow say on Christmas morning?
A: Mooey Christmas!

Q: What is the most special part of your body at Christmas?
A: mistleTOE

Q: What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the original alphabet?
A: there is NOEL

Q: What is a mom's favorite Christmas carol?
A: Silent Night

Q: Why is it always cold on Christmas?
A: Because it's Decemberrrrrrrrr

Q: Why is it difficult to keep a secret at the North Pole?
A: Because your teeth chatter!

Q: What goes red white red white red white?
A: Santa Claus rolling down a hill

Q: What do you say to Santa Claus when he is taking attendance at school?
A: Present!

Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa?
A: Crisp Kringle

Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: snowflakes

Q: What do you get if a vampire gets crossed with Jack Frost?
A: frost bite

Q: What animal can write?
A: a pen-guin

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Oakham
Oakham who?
Oakham all ye faithful...

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wayne
Wayne who?
Wayne a manger...








Oh! This made me laugh too!!!

Office Holiday Memo

To: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season

Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).

1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.
2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill)
3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."
4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house.
5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.
6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.

In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.